Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
