the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
