I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
