i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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