Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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