WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
nutella sex= disaster
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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