i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
