I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
