I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
