I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
