I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
