you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
