Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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