Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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