Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
