Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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