I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
