Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i wish my penis had a tongue
He passed out mid-signature
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
