I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
