hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
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