i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Houston, we have a squirter
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
