I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
