RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
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