Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
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