I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
