Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
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