I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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