That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
