Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
