i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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