A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
