no, he came in my armpit
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
