i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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