I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
