i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
