That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
