Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
