I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
