omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize
