let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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