what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
