Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize