He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
