Well apparently he's into motor boating.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina just recognized that song.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize