you turned your livingroom into a bong?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
