Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
