Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
