Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
