I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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