She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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