Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
