11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
