i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
