Ambien. No doubt about it.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
