we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
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