All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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