If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
They took my balls.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
