my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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