Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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