i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
