So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
She needs sedatives and a leash
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
