did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Hippo gnu deer
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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