let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
