i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
there was a trapeze. enough said
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Dick very happy bro
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
