Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
