its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
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I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
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I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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