there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
ttyl tear gas
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
