Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
