I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
