His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
