she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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