I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
