So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize